Last week I wrote all about the two phrases I think all parents need to use a whole lot more... or at least, the two phrases I personally want to use more when I'm speaking with Ava. [You can click here to read it.] And today, I'm talking all about the one word parents need to throw out the window.
Just get rid of it, throw it out of your vocabulary and never say it again. It brings a whole lot of negative energy and let's be honest, we need more positive in this world.
It all started years back before I was even married. My husband (fiance, at the time) and I were out to dinner with a friend and their son. I think he was about two years old at the time and he just couldn't sit still (duh!). He was climbing over the booth to the other side, meeting new friends, running all over the place...you know, all of the stuff Ava does in a restaurant as a two year old. And there is one word his parents kept on saying over and over and over and it began to drive me nuts --
That was the word. I think the word "no" was said at least 340 times in the span of an hour and a half and from that day forward, I knew that when I had kids down the line, I would make a solid effort to keep that word out of my vocabulary.
When you think about it, it sounds impossible. I mean, kids do things wrong every single day, they act mischievous, they throw tantrums, they do the opposite of what they're told and they test our patience all day long. So the thought of getting rid of the word "no" seems silly in the parenting world.
But let's take a look at a scenario and I'll show you what I mean.
Let's say, for example, you're sitting down for dinner and your kid keeps throwing food onto the floor. You can do one of two things:
1. say "no"
2. say "let's keep our food on our plate or in our mouth"
See what I did there?
Instead of bringing all of that negative energy that "no" carries with it, I got the same message across, let my kid know that he/she was doing something wrong but said it in a more positive way.
Or say your kid is running by the pool -- You can say "no running" or you can say "let's walk around the pool, please!" Or if your kid is screaming you have the choice to say "no screaming in the house" or you can say, "let's keep calm voices inside the house."
It's such a simple flip of words but creates a far more positive environment. And that's the kind of environment I want Ava to grow up in.
What do you think?