I got married young. Okay, not like teenager young but I was 23 years old when we said, "I Do" and now at 26, I have my first baby. And while this is not out of the norm whatsoever, in my group of friends it sure is. 99% of my closest friends do not yet have kids, and are not yet married. Heck, many of them aren't even in a relationship. And while there is absolutely nothing wrong with this (and I believe that no one should seek out marriage just because of age), it has left me feeling a bit out of place.
People always told me that things would change when I got married. "You will no longer have the same interests as your friends and will want to just stay in and hang out with him." And while I love hanging out with my husband, we love going out and socializing. It's just something that makes us happy.
And then Ava came around and it was like I was taking another step up the ladder, away from my friends. Of course, they were all beyond excited to meet her and all love her like they are her aunts, but things change when you have kids whether you like it or not.
As you know, I am not the kind of mom who won't do things because of Ava's bedtime or nap time. I am not one to miss out on things because of our schedule. But the conversation definitely changes now that she is here. I now enjoy browsing Instagram for baby shoes and scouring the internet for the best articles on sleep training. And I have friends whose day consists of going to work like most adults, and then browsing Instagram for the most adorable bikini for summer time after a quick stop at a last minute happy hour with 4 other girlfriends.
There is nothing wrong with either and of course I am not saying we should get rid of the friends once we have kids. If any of my friends are reading this, I love you to the moon and back and would never even think of "dumping" you! But all I am saying that is in important to have mommy friends too. You want someone to lean on when you are having a rough mommy day (if you know what I mean), or someone to recommend the best brand of diapers because you just cannot control those blow outs, because some of these conversation (okay, most of them) just aren't going to work too well with friends who have never had kids. "Ummm just put her in her crib and wait until she falls asleep?"
While I was pregnant, I felt a bit of a void in that area. But thankfully, we joined a small group at our church and I now have some absolutely amazing new friends, many of which are mommies and daddies. We go on play dates, go to story time, and chit chat over mommy stuff. And I love having a second set of friends now who share many of my new interests.
If you are a new mommy or are expecting (or even expecting to in the future), I urge you to find a group of mommies to add to your list of amazing friends. Because if you're anything like me, it will absolutely fill that little void that you may have in your life. And who can say no to more amazing friends?