The other evening Ava and I headed to the trail head near our house just in time for sunset. I had an outfit to shoot and I thought it would look just stunning on the mountain top. So I packed up Ava and my camera and we made the quick 5 minute drive over.
Ava was as happy as can be and we headed up the trail to get a good view for our photos. As soon as I put her down, she began crying. She clinged to my arm like no tomorrow and cried until I picked her right back up. And of course, she was happy as can be again.
We walked a little further, I showed her the bushes, the rocks, the flowers and the sunset and I tried again. I placed her down and immediately she began crying.
And man, it was frustrating.
I needed these photos but there is now way I was going to get them so we headed back home with not a single shot.
And then last Friday we headed to the beach. Typically she naps in the car after a couple of minutes of crying but that day was different. She screamed the entire half hour to Malibu. I gave her a spoon to play with (which works every single time) and she threw it on the seat beside her. Then I gave her her favorite snow leopard stuffed animal and she threw it down. Then her Minnie Mouse, then an empty Starbucks cup, a straw, a water bottle and everything ended up getting thrown overboard. I gave her everything I had until I had nothing left.
And the crying continued the entire way there.
When Ava cries it’s the worst feeling in the world -- I feel sad. I feel frustrated. I feel helpless. And it makes me cringe every single time.
When we finally got to the beach, I put Ava down on the sand to get our blanket set up and when I picked her back up I noticed sandy, yellow poop on my hands. She had pooped, it exploded and most likely, that was the reason for her crying all the way there.
I would be crying if I were her too.
I feel bad for babies.
They cry, we get mad, annoyed and frustrated but just think, they are probably far more frustrated than we are. You know that sad, helpless feeling I described when I hear Ava cry? Just think, she is feeling those same feelings but a thousand times worse.
Because she has no voice.
She is a baby and she has absolutely no voice.
Maybe Ava was scared to death of the hiking trail so wanted her mommy to comfort her. Maybe she pooped right when we left the house for Malibu and sitting there was making her uncomfortable. No matter what it was, there was no way for her to tell me what she was feeling.
Crying is her way of telling me something -- she’s uncomfortable, she’s sad, she’s tired. she's frustrated or she needs something from me.
As moms, our babies rely on us for comfort.
They don’t have a voice so we are their voice. We are their comfort. We are their feeling of safety when they are uncomfortable and we are their only way of getting what they need.
Babies cry because crying is their one form of communication and we cannot get mad at them for that.
I’ll be the first to admit that I get frustrated with when she’s crying and I feel like she’s crying for no reason at all. I get mad, I get frustrated, I get annoyed and at times, I get quite overwhelmed. And that is one thing I really need to work on as a mom -- patience. I need to stop and realize that there IS a reason she's crying - no matter how large or small - and I should be the first person to understand that. Crying is her voice and she is trying to tell me something. Crying is her way of telling me.
Let’s work on being more patient with our babies and realizing that if we didn’t have the ability to speak our feelings, we would cry too.